Monday 23 March 2015

What do you mean I am not Wonder Woman!

very wonderful friend gave to me a brilliant mug that I use constantly.  Every morning I see it and staring back at me is the message:

" Anything is possible" she believed, so she grew WINGS and flew like an angel to the STARS!
"She didn't know that the back of her dress was tucked into her knickers, though, but, hey, you can't have it all!"

Wise words!  I love this.  

Not so long ago I would wake up every day and it would never occur to me that I wouldn't be able to do something.  However,  this thought soon became more than just a sense that I could do whatever I set my heart on - I felt I had to do it all - be a mum, run my own business and household, compete in events as well as whatever else life threw at me.  (Us 21st Century women can do anything and everything, can't we?)

Unsurprisingly, this way of living and constant self-imposed pressure built up to such a level that it had to be released.  My body's safety valve was deployed! 

My journey of awareness started last April when I was on my Outdoor First Aid course.  I had already completed my Boxercise, Kickboxercise and Kids Boxercise instructors course that year as well as the Holistic Lifestyle Coaching course and my Trail Cycle Leaders course.  

It was on day one of the course, drinking a little more coffee than usual, when I could feel this thud in my chest.  I have had this in the past where my heart double beats but usually it only happens once in a blue moon.  This time it went on for the rest of the day!  It then continued for the following few months, with no let up, not even when I stopping drinking coffee or when I stopped taking the Pill.  By now I was training full throttle, like a woman possessed some might say - in preparation for a local endurance event called a Quadrathlon. Training for such an event like this (which involves a mile swim in the Loch, a tab round 7 Munroe's, a 7 mile kayak and then a 36 mile cycle round the Loch) is emotional and exhausting enough without having to cope with the hormonal change that was now taking place in my body re-producing its own hormones, so maybe not my brightest move 3 months before one of my biggest events to date.  I completed it all with a smile on my face though!  (Most of the time!!), and some friends did see the more grumpy, unsympathetic, exhausted and on occasions irrational side of me when things did not go well.

Thankfully I listened to my body and realised that I had to re-prioritise.  I'm always amazed that when you tap deep down into yourself you can always seem to find a "change button" - something that makes you move in a different direction.  For some people this doesn't happen until they hit rock bottom or being close to death.  Thankfully my situation was a case of realising that I needed more time with my family and less time doing EVERYTHING!

We are now 8 months on and I feel a heck of a lot better.  My diet had been out of control - I couldn't feed my body right because of the huge stress I placed it under.  So now with a more balanced work, family and exercise life I am slowly repairing my body with what it needs. Back to basics and realising the nourishment my body needs.  That means understanding that my body needed almost 3 years to fully recover from a pregnancy, that moving back into a natural menstrual cycle could take up to 6months +, and that I didn't have to make myself do it all, (as nobody put me up to it, in fact quite the opposite), but I didn't listen to them or my body at the time. 

I've revamped my business and now concentrated on a few select regular clients.  It's very much a case of quality over quantity now.   I have also decided to take a year off competing and look forward to being stronger and fitter next year. And most importantly having time with my boys (all of them including my black lab)

Just recently I have completed my health and well-being journal and here is one of my captions that pretty much sums it all up:



Sam xxx

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